Unsaid
by itzalliballi
Summary: It's raining on a Sunday, and even without a case to work on, Bones still finds herself facing her feelings for Booth. Luckily for her, Booth has always been able to understand what she doesn't say, as well. ONESHOT.


Hi everyone. This is my first Bones fic, so PLEASE let me know what you think. Any kind of suggestions would be appreciated as well. Thank you! I own nothing.

**We're both pretty sure**

**Neither one can tell**

**We seem difficult**

**What we got is hard as hell**

**A hundred thousand words**

**Could not quite explain**

**So I walk you to your car**

**And we can talk it out in the rain**

**And we are leaving some things unsaid**

**And we are breathing deeper instead**

**And we are leaving some things unsaid**

**I can sing myself to sleep**

**No more  
**

-The Fray

The rain felt heavy as you pushed your flattened hair out of your face. You tried to strain your eyes, hoping that you would be able to see better in the darkness that separated you from your partner. You tried to beam the miniature flashlight in the direction you thought he went, but it was to no avail. Between the new moon offering no forgiving light, and the torrential downpour, you did not feel optimistic about your chances of being able to find him. Not unless he wanted to be found, anyway. Booth was better at not being found than you. He was better at finding people too, which you really despised sometimes.

"Booth!" You called out his name and sighed as the only sound you heard in return was your voice bouncing off each individual rain drop until it was too faint for you to decipher.

"Booth." You whispered, more to yourself than anyone else, as the eerie silence of the home seemed to ring into your ears. You didn't even pay attention on the way, you had no idea how to even tell someone how to pick you up. "You promised you wouldn't leave me." Tears pricked your eyes, quickly meshing with the rain as you lifted your eyes to the sky, looking for some sign that the storm would pass soon. You knew better though. It wasn't supposed to stop for days. They were expecting flooding on the outskirts of the city. This forecast usually never bothered you personally because you lived near the center of the city in order to be close to the Jeffersonian. But that was before Booth took you to the edge of town, and left you to your own demise. You hadn't expected that reaction. Given, you had nearly had to beg in order to go with him. You'd thought it'd been a crime scene. You'd thought there would be bones for you to figure out, and he just wanted to work it without you. Unfortunately, there are some skeletons that you just can't see to examine.

"Bones, I'm still here." He sighed, and you couldn't be sure, but he seemed ... defeated. "You know I wouldn't leave you alone. Jesus, Bones. I couldn't if I wanted to." It took another few moments before your eyes registered his frame walking towards you, his hands running through his hair as if it took everything in him to walk in your direction.

"You ran away." You whispered, more than aware that you sounded like a child the first time you rode a bike without training wheels, and your dad let go because he thought you were staying balanced on your own. He didn't realize that you were depending on him, because you were much too gawky and uncoordinated at the time to have any amount of center balance. You'd fallen seconds later, and you cried because he'd promised that he wasn't going to let his baby girl get hurt. Not unlike the promises he made you in the years before he vanished with your mother. Men were full of promises. Booth was the only guy who'd managed to let you not fall off the bike. He might let go for a moment, but he was always there, even if just a dweller in the shadows.

"Haven't you ever just needed a moment to think, Bones? Alone?" He was finally close enough for you to see the fragile expression on his face with the help of the flashlight, indicating that he was only keeping his composure using the skills the FBI had taught him. He looked like he was being tortured. He looked at like you were the bad guy, and you felt your chest tighten at the realization. You couldn't remember a time that Booth had ever been the one to pull away when things got too hard. You drove him nuts, but he stuck around. It was what made the two of you work.

"I process things very quickly, Booth. You know that. Things are very simple. Things are either right or wrong, black or white, I don't understand why you need to be alone to figure it out." You huff, wanting nothing more than to re-enter the house that he'd been so quick to flee from, the one that you'd been so quick to follow him out of. You were cold though, and you could feel the events of the day finally starting to hit you, and you were getting tired. Even when sleep was the very last thing you wanted to do. Not until things were fixed between the two of you. You were an expert at pushing people out of your life, but the mere thought of Booth falling for it made you violently ill. Angela would know what to say to him to make it better, to make him understand that you were thinking about what's best for your partnership, you were only thinking about the best way to never lose him, but you had doubts that he would understand your logic. You weren't sure it was logical at all. You were just scared. Another thing on the ever-growing list of things you could never imagine yourself telling him.

"That's bullshit, Bones. I am calling BULLSHIT! Haven't you learned ANYTHING from working cases? Nothing is ever black and white, there are millions shades of gray when it comes to human instinct. There are variables that change by the minute, feelings, expectations, betrayal- all of these make things gray, Bones. Humans are not predictable lab rats trying to find the other side of the maze for a cookie. We aren't machines that you can just flip a switch and turn us off and on at your desire. Please tell me you know that. Tell me that I'm not your experiment, Bones. Please. For the love of G-, for the sake of our partnership, tell me that."

"From a religious perspective Booth, religious followers are much like lab rats, living life in strictly narrow tunnel for a reward, for life after they've died. And as far as right or wrong, you of all people should agree with that, Booth. You work for the FBI. You follow strict rules that our society has imposed, and you go after the ones that disobey. You can't tell me that you don't believe in clearly cut right and wrong when you've spent your life defending the concept. I have to believe that. I have to believe that you arrested my father because you BELIEVE that you were right to do so. That you believe that the fact that he did wrong beats the fact that I'm his daughter. That you... that you understand that we can't be together because it's... because I can't ever lose you." You gasped when you realized what you'd said. You had no intention of saying the last part. You'd wanted to play dumb on the subject, but you'd never done well at playing dumb, and Booth clearly wasn't in the mood to allow you to master your skills. You guessed only he was allowed to dumb himself down in the partnership.

His face flinched visibly at your words, but otherwise, you almost assumed you'd imagined saying it. He didn't verbally respond to it at all. The only thing you noticed was how his jaw clenched in barely contained anger. Your knees got a little weak at the sight, but you pushed that away. It was the worst time possible to allow your body to react to him without your consent. You had a point to get across, which wouldn't happen if you fell helplessly into his arms. "We should get inside. You're going to catch pneumonia standing out here." You should have been pleased with his statement. It was no different than the Booth that brought you food and coffee to crime scenes to make sure you were taking care of yourself, but it brought you no joy at all. All you really wanted him to do was wrap his arms around you, and remind you of the reasons you'd allowed yourself that moment of weakness to begin with.

"Booth, wait, don't be mad at me, okay? Please. I can't handle when you are mad at me, or when you aren't willing or able to talk to me. I _need_ you, Booth." You could barely breathe standing there in front of him. You couldn't remember the last time you admitted you needed someone out loud. Had you ever?

"You called me a lab rat. A hypocritical rat, at that. So forgive me, Bones, for not being in the best mood. I'm going inside. You do what you want." His eyes pierced you, and you winced as his shoulder brushed against yours in passing. You turned around to watch him go back inside, but you couldn't make yourself step back in there. You were afraid that you couldn't keep a clear head if you did.

You watched as he left the door cracked open, a silent reminder that you were still welcomed inside when you felt like coming in. Which, if you knew Booth, he wasn't going to allow you a lot of time to make the decision on your own. The idea of you being alone outside of a nearly abandoned residence when the visibility was only a few inches would get to him soon. You would give it to him that he had a right to worry, after all. It wouldn't be your first experience with abduction. You knew that he blamed himself entirely too much for that, but it did no good to tell him that. You were his partner, and although the definition of that was unclear sometimes, it meant that he wasn't going to let a person harm you if he could prevent it. Even if that meant risking his life. Guilt took over after a few moments, and you entered the cabin. You'd already pushed his limits enough for one day.

"I thought we were going-" you stopped mid-sentence when you entered the living room to find that Booth wasn't in there. He'd turned on the radio, so you'd assumed he would be there. You should have known better than to assume anything though. It wasn't exactly easy to rely on logic when it came to Booth, because his actions defied logic just about 87 percent of the time.

"Booth!" You sighed as you called his name out again as you made your way up the narrow stairwell to look for him. You weren't someone that got spooked easily, but there was something about the place that did it for you. You weren't sure if it was the way the floorboards creaked no matter where you stepped, or the way the roof managed to echo every whisper of the wind. Maybe it was just the somber silence that enveloped the two people in it. "You okay, Booth?" You called out, fear creeping into you that something had happened to him, and you hadn't been there.

You were in the what you assumed was considered the master bedroom before you realized that the water was running in the bathroom. The rain had overpowered the sound. You were torn with the surprise of the house having running water at all, and with the sheer hope that it was Booth using the water. You bit your lip softly as you made your way to the door, your right hand reached for your gun while the other reached for the door handle. You closed your eyes only for a brief moment, but it didn't matter, the door opened, and you immediately looked like a crazy person holding a gun to your partner. "What the hell are you doing, Bones?" His eyes were wide as he fastened the towel around his waist, and you felt yourself gulp as you put the gun back into your purse.

"You didn't answer. I thought.. I thought.." you stepped backwards until you reached the bed so you could sit down. Somehow, you couldn't form the words. It was unbearable. You only said such things when you had no other choice. When you were his only hope.

"You thought someone was in here." He finished for you with a nod, and you felt your shoulders shake to release the fear that'd been building up in the past few hours. You couldn't lose him. You just couldn't. "Hey Bones, it's okay. I'm fine. We're fine, no one else is in this place except us." You were relieved that his desire to comfort you outbeat his anger at you. You were starting to worry that nothing would ever beat the anger.

"How do you know this place, Booth?" You asked as you looked around the room. There were personal mementos everywhere, including a picture of Booth, but you didn't know anyone in any of the other pictures. You knew that if it was Booth's place, there would be pictures of Parker.

"It, uh, it belongs to a buddy of mine. He's been overseas. I promised him I'd get it up and running again while he was gone. It was in bad shape when he left, the roof was nearly collapsed, and well, I haven't gotten a lot done, but, sometimes I come out here to get away." He sighed, and you knew instinctively, although you couldn't be sure, that there was more to the story than he was telling you. You stayed silent as you grabbed onto his hand, offering it a gentle squeeze, hoping that it would be the comfort he needed to continue. "He was killed two weeks ago in combat. It was the day before he was coming home." You watched as he blinked back tears, and your chest constricted with shared agony. You couldn't imagine how hard it was for Booth when it came to the war. How he seemed to feel guilty for being one of the lucky survivors.

"Booth..." you whispered, unable to say anything else. Afraid of saying the wrong thing. Silence was better.

"He left me his HOUSE, Bones. He left me his house because he trusted me to fix it, and I didn't even do it. I couldn't even fix a damn house in two years. He left all of the money to do it. I just, things kept coming up, you know? Crime doesn't stop at 5 PM every day, and Sunday afternoons. It never stops." His voice was ragged as he ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

"You fixed the roof." You offered, unsure if it was going to help him at all. You had to try though, because you couldn't handle Booth looking broken. Even in the hospital after he was blown up in your kitchen, he didn't look broken. Even though internally, he very much was.

You sighed in relief when he grinned at you and nodded. "I fixed the roof."

"As far as shelters go, the roof is the most important component, Booth. You should be proud. We're safe, aren't we?"

"Yeah, Bones. We're safe." He chuckled as he wrapped his bare arm around you, pulling you in to lean against his calming chest. It wasn't until then that you realized just how soaked you'd gotten outside, and how much you desperately wanted to take a shower, too. You didn't feel entirely safe being next to a soaked Booth when the only thing he had on was a towel. You weren't in the lab. You couldn't tell yourself that this was for work. You weren't even on a case. And clearly you being next to him with only one article of clothing did not go well. You had learned that. It was what'd gotten you out in the middle of nowhere to begin with.

"I should let you get dressed." You cleared your throat as you detangled your hands and stood up, putting distance between the two of you. It was better that way, and you knew it, but at that moment, you couldn't for the life of you figure out how.

When you managed to meet his eye again, he was grinning at you, and it made you blush. "Nervous, Bones?" It wasn't until then that you realized why he was still in a towel. It was because neither of you had a change of clothes.

Perfect, you sighed as you sat back down beside him. "We have no dry clothes."

"Believe it or not, this place does have a dryer, Bones." He grinned at you, and you felt relieved. At least his lack of clothing would be temporary. You were still having trouble understanding how the night had gone so off track. You closed your eyes to retrack the day, hoping to pinpoint what made that day different than other days. What made you unable to stop yourself from kissing your partner?

---

_It was a Sunday. You usually tried to work on your novel on Sundays, but you couldn't seem to focus on anything except the window, and the light drizzle of rain that didn't seem to have any desire to stop. You usually weren't someone who took much of a note of the weather, because regardless of the conditions, there were still crime scenes that needed your attention. It always seemed different when you were inside,though. You found yourself fascinated with the way raindrops were blown against the glass, and continued to drizzle down to the ground. You knew logically that it made sense. All things must go down. Especially water. Gravity was scientifically proven. Then again, you doubted you would have seen Booth passing your building if you hadn't been so entranced by the rain._

_You felt yourself smiling when the familiar knock was at your door. You couldn't remember exactly when it was decided that he didn't need to call first. Sometimes you wanted it to bother you, because you liked to tell yourself that there was something in your life that you considered more important than Booth, but you'd yet to figure it out. You'd even kicked a guy or two out for him. You told him that they were leaving already anyways, which you didn't consider a lie, because they were going to leave eventually. It wasn't like you'd given up sex for him. Well, okay, not often._

_He'd been excited all week about his weekend with Parker. Rebecca went on a cruise, which meant he had two days of uninterrupted time with him, which you knew he treasured. Even if it just about killed him to admit it out loud. That was the perk of being Booth's partner. He couldn't keep everything a secret, even though you'd found he'd often tried. Especially when it came to his personal life. You never were quite sure whether he was protecting you or himself. Maybe both._

_You hadn't expected to see him. You'd found those were your favorite moments with Booth, when you least expected them. That usually meant it wasn't work related. Booth always came off as charming, but when he wasn't in his FBI suit, he always seemed a little more relaxed. You supposed it was because he wasn't standing for his country. He was just Seeley, your friend. Even if he was still wearing what were clearly his church clothes. You would never admit it, but you had a soft spot for the blue button down shirt he was wearing. You liked it more when he wasn't wearing a wifebeater under it, but you understood. If you'd learned anything, it was that Booth never failed to be respectful in a church. Even when it was a crime scene._

_"Hey Bones." He smiled at you, but you could tell something was off about it. The thought was immediately confirmed when you didn't see the blonde mess of curls next to him._

_"Where's Parker?" You frowned. You couldn't quite place the moment when Parker started meaning so much to you, but you were very fond of him. Even at such a young age, he reminded you of Booth. It was obvious that Booth was his hero, even if Booth couldn't always see it. He even got the kid calling you Bones. You wanted to protest it. No one else called you Bones, and you weren't even supposed to like the name, but every time you saw the boy grinning up at you, you couldn't stop yourself from smiling back at him. He was his father's son._

_"Oh, Rebecca's boyfriend apparently wasn't cut out for life at sea. They ended up coming back early." He shrugged as he walked in your apartment, and you realized for the first time, although you aren't sure how you didn't notice it earlier, that he was drenched. He looked as if he'd been walking around in the rain all afternoon._

_"Are you okay, Booth?" You asked, not sure what to expect. Something was clearly bothering him, but it didn't look like he wanted to talk about it either._

_"Fine, Bones. Do you want grab a coffee or something? I was craving pie, and I passed your place, and thought I would see if you wanted to go."_

_"You sure you don't want to stay here for awhile? Dry off?" You felt yourself grin as you focused on the growing puddle at his feet._

_"Well, I guess a minute would be okay." He cleared his throat as he slipped off his jacket and tennis shoes. "So, what are you doing, Bones?"_

_"Nothing, actually." You shook your head, realizing how odd that sounded coming from you. You were always doing something. Usually something with an impending deadline._

_"Really? Nothing?" He raised his eyebrow at you, and you almost felt offended. Until you remembered that you had actually been trying to write. You didn't think it counted though, because it was far from successful. You hadn't even gotten half a page. Now that the series was so successful, you felt you had to be careful what happened between Kathy and Andy. No matter how many times you insisted they were not a reflection of you and Booth, no one seemed to believe you. So, now you were careful, and it was making writing complicated. Too complicated. You almost wished no one read them. Almost. You were sure, although you had no tangible evidence, that Booth liked the books, and maybe even the conjecture of what it meant for him._

_"Well, not successfully. No." You crossed your arms as you made your way to the kitchen. "I don't have anything but wine, but you are welcome to have a glass, if you'd like." You felt awkward offering Booth wine at 2 PM on a Sunday afternoon, but it was all you had. You didn't want to be rude._

_"It's okay, Bones. I'll get coffee at the diner later with my pie."_

_"I should get you a towel." You gulped as you watched the water glisten off his tanned skin, effortlessly making his shirt transparent. Snap out of it, Tempe. It's not like you've never seen the man in the rain before. He's your partner. Your friend. You could not go barbaric on him and tear off his clothes._

_No matter how appealing that sounded. You turned from him as you left the room, insisting that staring at him was not going to dry him off. Unfortunately. You hesitated once you were in the bathroom, unsure of how many towels exactly to get him. Your bottom lip slipped nervously between the confines of your teeth as you eyed the contents of the cabinet before finally grabbing two, deciding it was better to be safe than sorry._

_None of that internal debate prepared you for the sight of a shirtless Booth in your bedroom. "Wh- what are you doing in here?" You gulped as you leaned against the doorway. He was sitting on your bed in nothing but a pair of boxers. A very clingy pair of boxers due to the moisture, and you found yourself both relieved and tortured by the fact that they were black, and therefore not as transparent as you would have liked. Not that you would have admitted that. Even if you were capable of speaking._

_"I thought I'd left a shirt here once, so I came to look for it. But then I realized, a little too late, that you probably wouldn't like me going through your things. So, I'm waiting." He forced a grin at you, and if it'd been anyone else, you probably would have yelled. You would have yelled about someone thinking it was okay to strip down to boxers in your home without warning, and make themselves comfortable on your bed. But it was Booth, and he got away with a lot more he ever should with that grin of his. Also, he was correct. You did have one of his shirts, but you really did not want to hand it over. You would never admit it to anyone, not even Angela, but after Pam, and after the tumor, you were never quite sure if you were ever going to see him again. You wanted something to remind you of him. That reminded you of how safe he made you feel, of how safe he made sure you actually were. You knew you could tell him that he was mistaken, that you did not, in fact, have his shirt, but you hated lying to Booth, so you gave in, regretting it before you ever opened your dresser drawer._

_It took you a moment to realize what he'd been staring at when you walked in. It was the picture of the two of you that he'd taken one late night at the lab. You'd been working on paperwork, and you'd both known it was going to be a long night, so he made a game out of it. Somehow a camera got involved. While the details are fuzzy now, the picture would stay with you forever. You both looked so happy in it with your heads tilted close together. If you didn't know better, you would say you were glowing. But you knew better. You'd been blushing. He'd kissed your cheek because you'd just told him something incredibly embarrassing about your years in foster care. You'd half expected him to laugh, but he hadn't. He'd called you his beautiful Bones, and you'd blushed. You aren't sure if he took the picture to distract you from the fact that he kissed you, but you didn't mind to catalog the moment of innocent bliss and joy of the moment._

_"That was a good night, wasn't it, Bones?" He smiled at you through the mirror, and you met his gaze with a nod._

_"Picture perfect, Booth." Your cheeks burned as you noticed the flinch of his abs. It didn't take you long to spot the shirt, you knew exactly where it was, but you took an extra moment to get yourself together again. You didn't know what it was about Booth that unraveled you so. Before him, you never even understood that phrase. But he showed you what it meant, the way he does with so many other things. "Here you go." You sighed as you ran the shirt through your hands one last time while you sat down beside him, allowing your arm to brush against his, before extending it to him. That didn't make it any easier to let it go when he took the other end._

_"Bones." He grinned at you as he tugged a second time at the shirt, and you knew you should let it go. You knew it was crazy to be so attached to something with no real value except to your heart. He tugged a third time, and still you didn't release it, and it was then that his grin fell. "Hey, you okay, Bones?" He released the shirt quickly as he wrapped his arm easily around your waist to comfort you. You immediately brought the shirt to your chest. You couldn't help it. It was completely irrational your attachment to that damn shirt. You were learning quickly that that didn't make it any less real. Another thing you would have never learned without Booth._

_"I, I don't think I can give it to you." You mumbled before quickly burying your face in the shirt to hide your embarrassment. You were thankful he gave you a moment in silence as you lifted your head again. "I'm afraid if I give it to you you're going to die. I'm afraid you're going to die, and I won't have anything left of you." Tears pooled your eyes, and you felt so weak, a feeling that you'd experienced much too often in Booth's presence. "It keeps me safe when you're away." You whispered, afraid to look into his eyes. You should have known he wouldn't let you get away with that though. Not without saying something. Even if you'd really hoped he would._

_"You sleep in my shirt?" He grinned at you, and you rolled your eyes. That would be the one thing he took from that. The one thing you didn't say taken from all of the things you did. You still couldn't look at him as you clung to the shirt a little tighter than before, afraid that he was going to tell you that you didn't need a shirt to protect you._

_"Only sometimes." You mumbled, hating to give him even that admission._

_"Listen to me, Bones." His voice was soft when he spoke again, and somehow in the moment it'd taken you to admit your weakness, he'd softened his expression. You watched as his finger lingered below your chin for a moment before lifting it up in order to look you in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere." He shook his head stubbornly at you, and if you hadn't had more than enough examples to prove him wrong then you would have believed him. He was an FBI agent, though. He dealt with murderers and serial killers every day. He knew better than anyone that very few people had a say about when they died. His false promises did nothing to appease you, even with his good intentions._

_"You can't promise that." You shook your head as you fell into his chest, allowing him to surround you in his arms, his very naked and receptive arms._

_"I can promise to fight like hell, Bones. We don't give up. We survive. You save me." He gave you a small smile of assurance before leaning into your ear. "Oh, and Bones, if something is ever able to beat me, you can have every shirt I own." You could feel his breath against your skin more than you could hear his laugh, but that didn't stop you from slapping him in the abdomen._

_"Don't joke about that, Booth." You sighed as you wrapped your arms around him, realizing it was silly to be so attached to his shirt when he was right there._

_"Why didn't you ever tell me, Bones?" He whispered as he kissed your forehead, and you felt yourself blush all over again. For someone who hated the image of the weak woman, Booth had a way of making you one. You couldn't even hate him for it._

_"Tell you what? That I don't want you to die?" Your voice cracked as you lifted your head slightly in order to face him. "Tell you that the idea of you going out in the field makes me almost as nauseous as the idea of you not going out into the field? I feel like I'm losing you either way, Booth." You wiped stubbornly at your tears as your clung yourself back to his chest, unable to look at him anymore. Afraid that he'd be able to see what you'd been trying to hide from him so long. To be able to see what he always sees when he's with you, the things you left unsaid._

_"Pam was crazy. She was going to kill you, Bones. And the idea of life without you? It doesn't feel like a life. I had to stop it. I had to." He gulped as he pressed another kiss into your hair, and you wondered absently if he even realized he did it._

_"There's always going to be another Pam, Booth." You whispered as you pushed yourself away from him slightly, tossing the shirt onto your dresser with little effort before standing in front of Booth. You smiled softly at him as you ran your hands slowly through his dampened hair, you even allowed yourself to relish in the cool splashes that sprinkled your arms as you leaned into him again. He accepted the new position wordlessly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, bowing his head into your stomach. You smiled as your hands drifted from his hair down onto his shoulders and spread across his black, making sure to trace every scar you knew, and also making an attempt to discover any you didn't._

_You didn't know how to describe the feeling that came over you as you stood before him and scavenged his body for clues to the words that would never leave his lips, the same way you assumed he was trying to listen to your heart to hear your unspoken secrets as well. You bit your lip nervously as you lifted your left leg to place it on the bed on one side of him. You watched as he swallowed the lump in his throat as he wordlessly scooted backwards onto the bed, pulling you with him until you were balancing yourself across his lap on your knees. Your heart rate accelerated as you felt his hands finally move from behind your knees down your legs, seemingly determined to not miss an inch of you as you flexed your calves for him. You told yourself it was to show him that you could take car of yourself, but you knew that it was bullshit. You did it for him. You were showing him yourself the way he so willingly showed himself to you. Eventually his hands moved north again, skimming the edges of your thighs until he reached your waist again. It was only then that he dared to trespass beneath your clothes. You nearly moaned at the sensation of his fingertips forming a trail of goosebumps on the way to your chest. You bit your lip, though. Nothing had even happened. You weren't sure what was going on, but you were still trying to convince yourself that it wasn't completely sexual. You were just making sure he was alive. At least that's what you told yourself as your hands roamed his chest, leaving soft scratch marks as they went. You told yourself you weren't truly trying to mark him as your own, but something about that idea gave you chills anyway. He was your partner. Why couldn't you mark him?_

_You nearly cried when his hands fell from your shirt before he ever reached where you'd truly hoped he was going. "What are we doing?" His voice was hoarse, and it didn't go unnoticed by you that he still kept his arms tightly wound around your waist. Perhaps you weren't the only one with a possessive side._

_"Making sure you're still alive." You whispered as your hands stopped directly above his heart. You met his questioning eye as you allowed the rapid heartbeat to soothe you. He was right there, and for the life of you, you couldn't imagine letting him leave any time soon._

_"I'm alive, Bones." He whispered, and you smiled at him. Yes, and you planned to keep it that way. You also had no intention of giving him back that shirt. He didn't need to know that, though. You watched silently as he covered your hands with one of his own over his heart, and you felt your body blush in places you didn't know were possible. "I'm alive." He repeated himself with a small grin, and then you did it, because for the life of you, you didn't see another option. You kissed him. Your hands laced through the short hairs on the back of his neck as your lips collided with his. You couldn't believe how natural it felt to kiss him. You'd thought it would be awkward, the same way it was awkward when Caroline had watched you on that Christmas eve, but it wasn't. He grinned against you as you prodded him for more access, which was quickly granted. How long had you been wanting to do this? How many opportunities had been lost because of some stupid line? You were done with lines. You were adults. You could have sex, and still work together. People did it all the time. Not everything ended in disaster._

_You heard a giggle escape your lips, and you almost couldn't believe it was you as you pressed Booth's shoulders back until he reached the bed, allowing you to pin him against it. His hands found their way into your hair, and you were fairly certain that it was by the most rewarding kiss you'd ever gotten as he tugged gently at the roots of your hair. You pulled away to catch your breath for only a moment before kissing him again, but somehow in that moment, the trance had been broken. You whimpered as his hands fell from your hair down onto your arms, gently but firmly pushed you away from him, and eventually you were completely separated, laying on your back beside him. "Jesus, Bones." He shook his head as he chanced a glance at you before running his hands over his face, scrubbing roughly at his eyes. "We can't. I mean I can't. There's a LINE, Bones!"_

_There was that damn word again, and you felt a string of curses roll off your tongue long before you heard them. You were so tired of hearing about that damn line._

_"We're two consenting adults, Booth. It's perfectly natural-"_

_"Stop that!" He snapped at you, and you obeyed simply out of shock. His eyes blazed with anger, and you watched as he stood up and started to pace the room, you guessed trying to find the words that were failing him. "I don't want to hear about what Anthropology has to say, Bones. This is us. It's me, and it's you, and I [b] need [/b] you, Bones. I can't just have sex with you. I can't separate it like you do. I can't.. I can't do this right now. I have to go. I'll, I'll see you tomorrow." He shook his head at you, and you felt the lump building in your throat. Hadn't he wanted it? Hadn't you given him plenty of time to stop you? You couldn't understand what you did wrong._

_"Booth! Wait!" You followed him out of your room with a cloud of utter helplessness hanging over your head. You knew you were crying again, but you didn't know what else to do. You watched as he nearly ripped off the door to your dryer before grabbing his pants and shirt out of it. You had the strongest urge to take them away from him, but you resisted. You knew that was childish, but you didn't want him to leave. You were afraid if he left, you wouldn't see him again. Especially if he left on bad terms. You hated the idea of him being mad at you. You just had to fix it. "Let me go with you."_

_"This isn't work." He shook his head at you, and it was enough to stop you in your tracks as Sweets voice rang in your ears telling you that Booth didn't allow you into his personal life. That's all you were to him. A job. You nearly crumbled to the ground, but after a moment, you gained a second wave of determination._

_"You aren't leaving without me, Booth. I won't let you." You huffed as you crossed your arms against your chest, and you felt a small amount of joy as his eyes followed the new development. So, you did have an effect on him. "We're partners. You can't shut me out. I won't let you." Your eyes narrowed on him, and flinched as a string of unintelligible curses came out of his mouth. You didn't bother to try to understand._

_"Fine, but you are going to be very bored." He glared at you as he threw on his clothes that were clearly still wet. He didn't seem to mind. "I'm leaving in five minutes with or without you." He growled as he pushed his way past you and made a straight line for the door, slamming it as he left. You wiped roughly at your eyes, refusing to cry anymore. You were Booth and Bones, you were the center, and the center must hold._

_You had to hold._

_You took several deep breaths to calm yourself before going to find your shoes. Something told you he wasn't kidding about the five minutes. He was probably counting the seconds, and there was no way he was leaving without you. **"I need you, too, Booth."** You whispered into the empty air as you grabbed your purse and put the shirt back into your dresser, more determined than ever to not let it out of your possession._

_You had kissed your partner, something Angela had begged you to do a thousand times before, and suddenly your entire life seemed to be falling apart. You certainly weren't going to be taking her advice again anytime soon. Why did it have to be all or nothing? Why couldn't it just be a little bit of everything?_

----

"Hey Booth?" Your voice was shaky as the memory rattled you all over again. It was even worse that he'd brought you to this place, his home away from home, and you'd violated his trust again. You'd thought you were setting you on the right path, but apparently that hadn't been what he wanted either. How were you ever supposed to know if he didn't tell you?

"Yeah, Bones?"

"I didn't mean ... It came out wrong." You sighed, still unable to make him understand. You shook your head, annoyed that you failed so miserably at the art of communication with humans, when you were an expert at listening to the bones of human remains. It wasn't fair.

_You'd been at the house for three hours when the rain started again, and you were more than ready to go home. Not that you could say that. Booth would barely look at you, and if you so much as mentioned what time it was, the glare he gave you certainly shut you up. You'd really pissed him off._

_"We need to talk, Booth." You sighed as you sat on the couch of the living room. He'd been putting down hardwood floors since you got there, and the couch was the only piece of furniture he left in the room. He clearly wasn't too upset with you. He gave you a place to sit._

_"A little busy here, Bones." He glanced over at you quickly as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "I told you that you wouldn't want to come. You didn't listen to me." He sighed and shook his head. You really hated when Booth was disappointed in you. Mostly because when that happened, you knew you'd really fucked up, and you never knew how to fix it. He was the one who you went to fix things when they got bad._

_"I'm sorry I kissed you. I just got emotional and irrational, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again." You nearly jumped as he threw a piece of wood against the wall. That clearly wasn't the right thing to say, but it was all you'd been able to come up with in the four hours since it happened. What did he want from you?_

_"Nothing about that is supposed to be rational, Bones." He shook his head at you, and you became even more confused than you'd been before. What did that mean? That'd you'd been right to kiss him? That he wanted it?_

_"I don't know what that means." You whispered, hating to say that when it felt like he was agreeing with you and disagreeing at the same time._

_"I mean that you're intentions weren't the problem. It was me." He growled, and you realized that he refused to look at you. It hadn't even occurred to you that he would be angry at himself._

_"Please look at me, Booth." You pleaded before standing up and making your way over to him, kneeling beside him. "Please."_

_"What is it, Bones?"_

_"Haven't you ever wondered?" You asked softly, and nearly jumped at the glare he gave you in return._

_"Jesus, Bones. You have to stop asking me that. We can't do this. I can't have just one night with you, Bones." He looked at you as if he was about to break, and you wanted so desperately to ask him why, but you knew it was something you should know on your own. And perhaps you did, you just couldn't grasp it when he was looking so lost, like he needed you to keep him safe._

_"Isn't one night better than nothing at all?"_

_"Do you honestly believe that?" He asked you as if you'd just denounced his God again, and you couldn't understand why. You didn't bother answering him, instead you were determined to show him how good it could be between the two of you. If a simple kiss had been so enticing, how could he resist more? You would have to make him see your logic. He worried too much._

_You removed the contents from his hands before turning him to face you. You made sure he met your eyes as your hands lifted into his hair again for only a moment before you leaned in. You'd expected him to pull away. He'd protested this for hours, and yet when you kissed him, he kissed you back, and you felt more lost than ever. Not lost enough to stop, of course. If anything, you'd learned to go full steam ahead. You leaned into him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and you felt yourself smile as his arms- the arms that you'd grown so accustomed to depending on- wrap securely around your waist to pull you even closer._

_It was bliss. Angela's sing-song voice rang in your ears as you remembered how she used to gush how she knew when she kissed Hodgins that he was exactly who she was supposed to be kissing for the rest of her life. While you had thought it was ludicrous that she believed such a thing simply because of the chemicals her body released, you suddenly understand how it could be easy to allow yourself to indulge in the fantasy._

_You had known kissing Booth would be different than kissing anyone else, even though there was no scientific reason for such a change. You supposed that trust did a play a part in the enjoyment, but you didn't understand that either._

_"Booth.." You murmured as your fingers ran through his hair, hoping more than ever that he wouldn't pull away._

_You should have known better. Just as you'd started to gain hope that he wanted the night to progress as you did, he pulled away. You couldn't even remember the last time you'd been turned down twice in one day, much less by the same man. Leave it to Booth to be the exception._

_"Bones." His voice was raspy as he framed your face with his hands, forcing you to meet his eyes. You hadn't wanted to. You hadn't wanted to see the look of shame that you knew would cross his features. If you didn't know better, you would blame it on the Catholic guilt, but that wasn't it. It was because it was you, and nothing was ever that simple when it came to you and Booth._

_You waited not so patiently as he tried to form whatever words he needed to say, but it was hard for you to focus as you watched him lick his lips repeatedly, and your hands rested carefully on his heaving chest. He wanted it, too. You knew he did._

_"Just let go, Booth." You whispered, surprised by the fact that you were the one to say it. Usually it was Booth having to tell you that. You could see the shock in his eyes as well, accompanied with a mild acceptance of your terms as he leaned back into you. For once, he'd just accepted your demand at face value, and something about that scared you as you felt his hands slide beneath your shirt as if he'd explored every curve of you before, and knew precisely where to hold you to make you feel safe._

_That was when you understood what he'd meant about one night not being enough. You were erasing the line with every kiss you shared, and you were suddenly incredibly afraid that you would never be able to find it again. You were afraid that it was true what people said when they couldn't have the best of both worlds. You couldn't have Booth as a partner at work and in bed. Boundaries existed for a reason, and you'd forced him to forget it- just when you realized what he'd meant._

_It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that you had the epiphany after he gave in to you, and you knew that you would have to stop it. You knew, but you didn't want to watch him run from you again. You were too afraid he wouldn't come back._

_"Booth." You felt the tears pool in your eyes as you pushed against his chest, trying to show a level of strength physically that you possessed in no other way. "I'm so sorry." You whispered as you tried to make him understand that you hadn't meant to hurt him. You hadn't meant for any of it to happen at all. You hadn't wanted to know the consequences. You hadn't been looking for the results, and you'd wanted to tell him that the results wouldn't have mattered if you didn't know, but you were a scientist, and the results were in._

_You felt every muscle in his body tense beneath you as he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. "You can't do that, Bones." He growled as he removed his hands from your body. You knew he was waiting for you to get up, but you couldn't quite make yourself. It had felt so good. "Get up."_

_"Booth.." you whispered again, unable to think of anything else to say. You whimpered as his hands gripped onto your upper arms to remove you from his lap. You didn't try to fight him. He was much too strong. Much too scorned._

_"I'm not your fucking experiment, Bones. Jesus." He stood up, and you watched as he paced the length of the room over and over. You'd never seen him so angry, and the fact that you didn't know what to do scared you. While you knew he would never hurt you, you also knew there were worse things he could to you than slap you. You'd almost prefer the slap to what you instinctively knew was coming next. "This is life. This is the real world. You can't just.. You just can't mess with people's lives for your own curiosity, Brennan!" His anger was evident in the way every word left his lips as if meant to be daggers. He knew they would hurt you, but you couldn't blame him. You'd hurt him so much worse. He'd called you Brennan, and you were sure that that was the hardest to take. You were Bones. You'd always been Bones, even when you didn't like it._

_"Bones. My name is Bones." You whispered, but you weren't even sure he heard you. You could barely catch a breath as a sob caught in your throat._

_"I'm not fucking dead! I'm not some bone for you to study! I'm alive, and Goddamn it, I have a heart. You don't get to do this. Just go back to the lab, it's where.." He cut himself off, but you knew what he was going to say. It was where you belonged. But he was wrong. You belonged out on the field- with him. You wanted to remind him that the heart had nothing to do with emotions, but you knew that he knew that, and it would only make it worse._

_"It's where what, Booth? What?" Your eyes narrowed on him, and you knew he wouldn't answer. He didn't need to. The answer was in his eyes, and you felt your chest tighten, and a similar feeling in your stomach. You couldn't help but wonder if you'd really caused him as much pain as he caused you. That answer was in his eyes, too. His pain was worse. It'd been growing, while yours was brand new._

_"I'm going for a walk." He shifted his eyes from you as he grabbed the blue shirt that you'd loved so much and threw it on. You wanted to ask him- to beg him- to stay, but you knew it would do no good. The only thing was going to help him was to get some air, but that didn't mean that you didn't desperately want to go with him. Even though you knew he would never agree to it._

_"Are you coming back?" You whispered, suddenly more than aware that you were in a strange house that you'd never been to before. "It's flooding outside."_

_"Nothing rain can do that's any worse than you." He gulped as he stared at you for a moment longer before walking away. You watched as he walked right out the door, not turning around once._

_He hadn't said he was coming back._

_--  
_

"I get it. We're partners." You were torn between rejoicing and crying all over again. You weren't going to lose him as a partner, but you were afraid you'd lost the possibility of ever having him as anything else.

You weren't going to work together forever.

"It's so much more than that." You shook your head as you grabbed his hands, lacing your fingers between his. "You are my partner, my best friend, you're my everything, Booth. You are **my** center. I know there's a line, and I know there are rules, and I know there are a thousand reasons why we can't try, but sometimes it's just so damn hard to remember them, Booth." Tears pooled your eyes again, and you were getting tired of feeling so weak around him. He'd already run out on you twice in one day, though. You couldn't take a chance on being misunderstood. Not again.

"I know, Bones. I know." He whispered, and your eyes fell shut as he kissed your forehead, and you told yourself that it was going to be okay. That the center was really going to hold. It had to, because you'd lived without Booth before, and there hadn't been much joy in it. You smiled as his lips lingered on the barely visible scar below your hairline. He was doing it again. He was saying all of things you needed to hear without ever saying a word. You wanted to tell him you loved him, and that if things were different you would have fought him more that night, but you resisted. He was Booth, and that meant he already knew.

--

Please tell me what you think!


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